Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Money Talks to Have Before Marriage : Forewarned is Forearmed

My old sociology professor sent some us of an article from the NY times and it deals with money discussion that people should have before marriage. & I think you guys could benefit from it.

A lot of stuff affect a marriage, and money is one big key player in it, so remember forewarned is forearmed, and it's best you go in prepared.

I'm sure you have heard people repeating that "the statistics for divorce is over 50%." right??? well this excerpt makes it better:

The risk that any marriage will end in divorce is about 45 percent according to David Popenoe, a professor of sociology emeritus at Rutgers University. The chances fall to about 40 percent for first marriages and decline further for college-educated couples, people from intact families and couples who share the same religion.
see... so if you are college educated, or have the same religion, or from an intact family (whatever their definition of intact is) and it is your first marriage, you chances of divorce are lower than 40% & hopefully these 4 tips will reduce it even more :)


1. ANCESTRY: Most of our money behavior is learned, so remember you are two different people entering into the  marriage with different money behaviors. so.. talk about your first experiences with money?, how did your parents treat money? did one parent make the money? did they share it? hide it? use it to control the other?if divorced how did they decide what to do? The article warns that this can be highly emotional for people with divorced parents.

2. CREDIT Whoa, this is a biggie!!!!! that a lot of people going into marriages are not aware of. GIRL, I plan to get a credit report (& ps: i heard if he pays child support it shows up on there, so... if he was lying about having kids... there you go)

Two reasons why this credit report discussion is super important: 1) A credit report is, in part, a catalog of past mistakes and overall habits - missed loan payments etc. what have you learned about money? 2) It's practical: if your credit is low, you want to fix this ASAP, so you will have the chance to get the best rate for your future home loan etc

3. CONTROL: money is control, so make sure you know who will be paying most of the bills, monthly , yearly etc, perhaps have a meeting to keep the other to speed. An important thing i saw in the article, If one person is going to be making most of the money (for all you future trophy wives and husbands) does that mean that this person will be making most of the financial decisions?

4. AFFLUENCE: What is your desired level of affluence? is it realistic with our current work paths? will it tear us apart? in the future do you want to visit Dubai? and that in the 7 star hotel I talked about?
definition:  abundance of money, property, and other material goods; riches; wealth.

Basically this article go in with your eyes open, just put a tiny pause on the romance, discuss this, and avoid the potential problems that a lot have run into which could have been avoided, like they say forewarned is forearmed.

So ladies & gentlemen, what money tips have you learned from your past/ current relationships? your marriage, parents, live in relationship, same-sex etc. I would like to hear your experiences & whether or not you think these 4 tips will help.

Love Bombchell

source: The NY Times Article, from Oct 23 2009 that I read: here
images by: Thomas Hawk & Brett L


  1. Yes, damn right, all those four! Avoid some big, nasty surprises later!


  2. this is a good one, I wish my parents taught me how to SAVE when I was younger, because now I have a hard time STARTING the process. but once i start.. it's a piece of cake for me! I hardly have credit.. which makes me look like i have bad credit. but yeah whenever i find a mate.. we will work things out financially :]

  3. I have been really open with Mr Special regarding my finances and he has been with me. He has seen my credit report and I have seen his. We had to be that way because I really want a future with him and my last boyfriend left me with debts in my name. He is fantastic with money, a real saver I have learnt so much with him.

  4. @Secretia welcome to my blog :)

    @ The Dailey girl it's hard but you have to try. by no credit do you mean no credit card? thats probably far better than bad credit.

    @ Angel WOW. what a horrible person (the ex)I'm glad you're out of it, and learning good habits!! It's really cool that your current relationship is so open so you can avoid those pitfalls.

  5. Great post. My boyfriend and I have entirely different spending habits (he's a great saver) and he inspires me to fix my habits which have gotten out of control lately. =S


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Love BombChell